Welcome to Mosquito Haven

aka My bedroom.

Over the past days, it has been unusually warm in San Francisco. We are talking 28°C (82°F!!!!!!!!!) and NO FOG. I repeat- NO.FOG. I know that the rest of the Northern Hemisphere has been indulging in hot sunny summer weather since..well..the beginning of summer. Good for you. Come June, Karl-the-Fog starts lingering over our city like a thick woolen blanket leaving us with zero chance of sun and a hundred percent abandonment of beaches. But not so this week. This week has been so close to being perfect- until I learned about the downsides of hot weather in San Francisco.

Unlike any other city in the U.S. that I have visited, San Franciscans usually don’t have A/Cs in their homes. Or mosquito screens built into their windows. Are you following the equation? Exactly, it gets freaking hot at night. The air in your house becomes stale and the only way to make it through the night is to leave the windows open. The cool air brings an unwanted visitor with it thought: the mosquito!

This has been the fourth night in a row where I have barely slept. I had killed about ten mosquitos each evening before going to bed but these little bastards are night active!!! Which means, they will hide in corners of your room you weren’t even aware of, only to come torture you with their F****** annoying “EEEEEEEEEEEW” that will get closer and closer to your ear the minute you switch off the lights. From here on, you have three options:

A. Ignore

B. Wave your hands like a crazy person, hoping to discourage the little bloodsuckers

C. Jump out of bed, switch the lights back on and furiously stand in the middle of your room, with a shoe in your hand,   
              examining every crack or dark stain on your wall.

The option you are most likely to choose will probably depend on the time of night the incident occurred at. From experience, I know that these freaking beasts tend to travel in groups. You are, and always will be, outnumbered. So, you will eventually decide to give up. From here on, you have two more options:

 A. Build a blanket cocoon, which ideally will cover everything except for your nose. You will sweat to death, but at least your
body
will not be the victim of a satanic blood cult.

B. Let the tiredness win and just sleep. Acknowledge that you can’t do much and wake up the next day with mosquito bites all
             over. All. over. We are talking about 50 in all sorts of places in my case.

I have been living off of espresso since the beginning of this week and I am not sure how much longer I will be able to keep going. My walls have blood stains all over (guess I won’t get that security deposit back…), my eyes have deep shadows underneath, my hair looks gross every morning because I basically spent 8 hours in a steam sauna and they are still coming in. It will never stop. They will never stop. I surrendeeeeeeer.

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