Long-Distance Friendship

They say when you’re in a place of great confusion, frustration or stress, you should remind yourself of all the things that are good in your life. So, while still trying to figure out what to do about the grad school debacle, I’ll do just that. This one is to my friends.

I have great doubts in long-distance relationships, having come out of one that didn’t end well a little while ago. So, yeah, I’m biased, mind you. I had just realized that people are under so many influences day by day that it’s really tough to make sure that, although both you and your partner grow and change, you change together and in the same direction. Assure that you’re growing together and not apart. On top of that, I had always trusted in Facebook to be a reliable medium of staying in contact with old friends. While it definitely simplifies things, it can also easily paint a completely different picture of your live. I’ve had several old high school friends assuming I had turned into an uptight, career-oriented person, based on pictures of me in a business attire or sitting in front of a(fairly earned) Macbook that showed up on Facebook at some point in my life. Of course you might say that, if friends are that biased, they aren’t worth your time but it’s always difficult to let go of people that have been in your life for a very, very long time. Incidents like that contributed to me thinking that long-distance of whatever kind is doomed to failure and it didn’t make graduating from college any easier.

I have, however, underestimated my college friends (sorry guys). When I got those really bad news on Monday, I didn’t really have anyone but my parents nearby since my friends are all scattered across the globe. But for them, that was not an excuse not to be helpful, each in their own way. One was late for work because she immediately skyped me to rationally help me assess my options. My long-distance roommate (hmm, who might that be…) stayed online and talked me through my trains of thoughts forbidding me to give up even though I just wanted to say “Screw this sh**”. Another friend, who is soon going to Manchester, gave me motivational speeches and information on studying in the UK. An old high school friend called me and gave me a breakdown of her expenses during her exchange semester in London. And, at the end of the day, I got this really awesome Cheer-up-Board from them, which made me cry and laugh and restore faith in humanity. Definitely check out the board, it might just also make your day brighter 🙂

I’m not saying all of that to show off my friends (although you are so worth showing off guys!) but just to remind you that friendships are important. Don’t take them for granted and try to give back what you receive. Open up because only when others know your greatest struggles and dreams, they’ll be able to support you. And heck, this whole process of growing up and getting where you want to get requires a LOT of support. So,  I want to revoke my original statement about long-distance relationships: It’s all a matter of effort on both sides, I think. And I know I’m willing to go through a lot of effort (or cheer-up videos, pinterest boards and facebook messages because we are too broke to fly to each other in case of emergencies) to keep those friends in my life.

So yeah, reminding you of the good things in your life and actually writing it down really helps, try it if you feel a little down, check out the pinterest board, then get strawberries and sit in the sun with a book. Oh yeah, and hug your friends if you can 🙂

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Cheers,

Ari

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