The Hunger Games- College Edition

…that’s finding money for grad school for you (stole this quote from 2 Broke Girls, btw).

Here are the stages that I underwent over the course of my search:

June. Of course you know since the summer that you want to attend grad school after your bachelors. But do you care to use the free summer months to send off applications, start preparing GREs or look into finances? NO. Why would you?! It’s sunny outside, after all. 

September. School starts again, you see all your friends, stress kicks in. Assignments, presentations, papers, deadlines, job, social life, sleep. It’s just a LOT to handle. By the end of the month, if you’re lucky, you might have a preliminary list of schools you want to apply to.

October. You exclude US schools, because they are SO EXPENSIVE. Also, their deadline approaches soon and you would have to take the GRE/GMAT. And that’s just a scary path you don’t want to go down. Expensive too. Why not Europe anyway? So much cheaper for EU citizens. Rolling application deadlines. No tests.

November. Shoot. European schools want to have TOEFL test scores. You tell yourself you will register soon (with “soon” turning out to be four weeks because you spend three weeks ranting about how stupid that is, seeing that you are attending an American university in Germany and have spoken nothing but English the past three years and who do they think they are, running around taking my money? You take another four days to tell yourself you will not give in to these stupid mechanisms of tests that say nothing at all and are just a way of taking your money.) Then you register. Almost full points. BOOM. Euphoria.

December. You find an international business school with campuses in the US. Perfect program. Great location. Everything fits. No GMAT. You apply, get in. You think: SAN FRANCISCO BABY! BACK TO THE US!! BACK TO THE PLACE THAT MAKES ME HAPPY!!! Then you wake up. They send you the price catalogue- $40.000 just tuition fee…huh.
You get a partial scholarship. Wohoo, just…a couple of thousands more missing

December, still. You realize that deadlines for all major scholarships have already passed. You accept the fact and move on..to student loans. An appointment at your local bank is supposed to help. The employee’s comment: “Well, that is a lot of money indeed and we can’t really help. Good luck!”. You go home, empty a bottle of champaign with your friend, sit down and think. The more time passes, the more desperate your money -getting ways become: they reach from becoming a starbucks barista over selling your eggs, becoming a surrogate mother and opening a sex hotline to another shot of vodka and the realization that you are pretty screwed.

January. Yet to come. If anyone knows how to get $27000, comment here. If anyone knows how to find shared living options in San Francisco, comment here. I tried craigslist but have only gotten dubious sex offers. And Western Union trash. Not very helpful. Otherwise I’m just gonna start collecting cardboard boxes already, so that at least I will have a place to live in San Francisco. Maybe with a nice garden in the back box. Could grow my own plants and just live off that for a year. If I ever make it to the States in the first place, that is.

Bottomline. Here you are, talented and poor. But, where there’s a will, there’s a way. I shall keep looking.. any hints appreciated.
Cheers mates!

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